jewassicpark:

“pass me a joint”

i rip off my arm, crying as i pass the detached extremity to my friend 

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lonelywhiteasian:

no really i’m funny i swear please stay

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brutalgeneration: Tiggy by jackie hampton on Flickr.
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gothlolita:

im Sorry but you two cant get the marriage. the bible said Adam and Eve not matthew and ashley. come back when youve legally changed your names

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tattooplace: These WTF tattoos are cracking me up! Try explaining #11 to your parents … http://bit.ly/17L9ULs
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one time a boy liked me just kidding

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tacospizza:

how do i get a flat stomach in 1 hour

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peregr1ne:

my mom is trying to pick a colour for her new wheelchair and me and my dad are telling her to get black and she’s just like “but how will I know if someone is stealing it” and my dad is just like “because you’ll be sitting on the floor” and she slapped him

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oceansing: Dark Forest (by Ognen Bojkovski)
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bunnywith: carry-on-my-consulting-tardis: m0rtality: Due to high sulfur levels, inhabitants of the Izu Islands had to wear gas masks to survive. What results? Some of the scariest wedding photos ever. are you my husband? omg 
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radsturbate:

*reblogs post before i finish reading it* wait shit i don’t agree with that

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